Growing Up
by OrangeSea
Summary: Zim needs to find a way to combat the Dib-thing's new height advantage. ZADR and rated M because I'm a sicko.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: ZADR, which of course means xenophelia and slash, I assume there's strong language involved, and I assure you, the M rating will be understandable in later chapters.

People have been sweet and making nice comments so I decided to revamp the grammar of this story a bit. Did anyone notice there was a section I just slipped into present tense for two paragraphs before gliding right back into past? Man, I'm awesome.

I don't own any of these characters, yadda yadda yadda.

---

Dib strolled out of Skool whistling cheerfully. It Friday afternoon and the students had just been released from their first week back at school. Dib couldn't be more delighted. Admittedly he had been a bit of a late bloomer, but over the summer he had shot up in height, putting him at a good solid 5'10". Zim, however, had remained the same size as always and there was no way Dib was going to let him forget it.

"Oh Ziiiiiiiiiiiim!" he called to the back of the tiny invader's head. He whipped around looking peevish.

"What is it, stink-monkey?" Dib smirked and leaned over a bit to speak down to Zim.

"You know, Zim, I do think you've grown a little..." He trailed off with a smug smile.

"Just because your stupid hyooman growth 'hormonies' have kicked in does not mean that ZIM will not defeat you and you're pitiful planet in the name of the ALMIGHTY TALLEST! Because he will. Ooooooh, he will!"

Dib grinned even wider, causing Zim to take an involuntary step backwards and sneer all the harder. "How tall are your Tallest, Zim?"

Looking quite enraged, Zim spun around and walked away from Dib who couldn't keep himself from laughing out loud. "I'm just wondering, you know?"

Zim stormed into his base cursing Dib and his stupid tallness. Completely ignoring Gir, who was clad in his green puppy suit, Zim ranted and raved for a good half hour; walking back and forth in front of the television. Gir sat on the couch and quite patiently swayed in time apposing Zim's movements, never taking his eyes off the Scary Monkey Show for more than a second. Zim eventually calmed down and flopped himself onto the couch beside the robot.

"I need a plan. There must be a way to reach the Dib-monkey's ridiculous height. It must be due to those disgusting hyooman 'hormonies'." He pondered thoughtfully. Gir continued to stare blankly at the screen.

"There must be a way... yeeeees. YES. That's IT. GIR! We're going OUT." He stood up quite triumphantly. Zim snapped the leash onto Gir's collar and quite literally dragged him out the door. Gir continued to stare blankly at the television screen until he lost sight of it.

---

Dib returned home with an extra bounce in his step. He noticed Gaz playing her video games quite intently and proceeded to delight in telling her of his new methods to torment Zim.

"You should have SEEN his face Gaz! It was the best thing ever!" He continued to drone on along that vein as Gaz grew twitchier and twitchier until she finally vowed to throw him off a bridge if he so much as uttered another word in her presences.

"Alright, see you later." Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as Dib flounced up the stairs to his bedroom. The video game was apparently too interesting to pause for vengeance however, and Dib cheerfully turned his computer screen on in peace. It displayed the interior of Zim's living room, which stood empty.

Not to be detoured, Dib cranked up the volume so it would alert him when Zim returned and began organizing the stacks of alien sketches and blurred photographs that littered his entire room.

---

"FINALLY!! Victory shall be MINE!" the speakers blasted. Dib was startled awake and was able to catch sight of Zim walking off camera, further into his base. Gir looked as though he was dragged to the middle of the floor and left there.

Quite suddenly, the defective SIR unit sprung to life with its eyes glowing red. He saluted off camera in a very professional manner before his eyes faded to turquoise once again. He shouted "I'll help!" and bounded out of the camera's view.

Dib gasped and instinctively reached for his handcuffs. Zim was up to something and he had to put a stop to it. He paused only to throw his trench coat on and zipped out the door.

If he hadn't left quite so quickly he would have heard.

"What does this button dooooooooo?"

"DON'T TOUCH THAT, GIR!"

---

That's it for Chapter 1. There are three total and the other two are each about twice as long as this. Again, I just want to say constructive criticism will be appreciated but please be nice, I'm a delicate little flower, or something.


	2. Chapter 2

Hmmm, next chapter. Stuff happens. I still don't own anyone.

---

Dib arrived at Zim's base panting and clutching a stitch in his side. He would have thought after years of this sort of thing he'd be able to run more than a few blocks without getting winded.

He was distracted out of his revelry by screams coming from just inside Zim's base. The door swung open and the little alien was hurled into the yard where, much to Dib's surprise, the gnomes immediately pounced.

They dragged the kicking and screaming Zim to the edge of the yard and deposited him onto the sidewalk with little grace. He didn't seem to have noticed Dib and instead hurled insults at his base, the computer, and Gir.

Dib, with a wicked grin, chose that very fine opportunity to attack. Zim's spider legs reacted a split second before the rest of him and neatly pinned Dib to the ground where Zim wrenched the cuffs out of his hands. Shoving Dib around to plant his face in the side walk, Zim put the cuffs around their owners wrists.

"Dib-thing." He hissed menacingly. "I should have known. Zim will have to deal with you later"

Dib struggled fruitlessly to escape. "What are you going to do now, Alien boy!? I notice you're not wearing your disguise!"

Zim hissed in annoyance. He could not return to the base because the security program had stopped recognizing him. He began pushing Dib through the streets, crouching behind him to keep hidden. All the while Dib called out to passers-by.

"HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, DON'T YOU SEE HIM!?" Finally he caught the attention of a woman pushing a baby's stroller.

"Who?" She asked stupidly. She shuffled a bit to the side to see behind him and Zim forcibly shoved Dib around, using him as shield.

"Well! I can't very well look behind you if you keep moving like that!" and without another word she stormed off in a huff, leaving Dib shrieking behind her.

"I DIDN'T DO THAT, DON'T YOU SEE HIM!?" but it was no use. The stupidity of the average person was too much to overcome once again.

"Shut up and get moving, Stink-pig." Zim grumbled, and jabbed him in the back to prod him along.

"GAZ. GAZ LOOK UP YOU'LL SEE HIM WITHOUT HIS DISGUISE!" Zim calmly shoved Dib up the stairs to his bedroom and Gaz threatened to electrocute him with his own toothbrush if he and his little friend didn't keep it down.

Depositing Dib on the bed Zim proceeded to ransack his arch enemies room. Dib cringed when his computer and its connection to the camera spying on Zim's base was discovered. With a derisive snort Zim made a note to destroy the camera when he is finally able to return to his base and otherwise ignored it. He began using Dib's own supplies to attempt to break back into his own base.

Dib remained on the bed, struggling futilely. After a while he wore himself out and laid upside down, glaring at Zim and trying not to pant. "Why'd your base reject you, alien?"

"It is none of your big head's concern." Zim grumbled in reply, clicking away at Dib's computer. Dib glowered. He had finally grown into his head and did not appreciate the reference. He squinted at the alien, something was... off.

"You look different." At this, Zim surprised him with a devious grin and stood up. It was almost as if he was growing right in front of Dib's eyes. Strolling over to the bed Zim planted a hand to either side of Dib's head and leaned over it.

"I look... taller?" With a slightly hysterical laugh Zim returned to the computer to work. He was once again interrupted, this time by Gaz's voice floating up the stairs.

"Pizza's here! If you take the last piece I will PERSONALLY dismember both of you with a blunt spork!"

At this, Dib's stomach grumbled so loudly Zim's antenna twitched. "Zim... could you?... Um, I haven't eaten all day."

Zim snorted derisively. "And why would the ALMIGHTY ZIM fetch you you're disgusting earth food?" Dib's stomach growled again, even louder this time. With a melodramatic sign Zim stood up and stormed out the door.

He returned only a second later with a slice of pizza that he unceremoniously dumped onto Dib's face. "THAT is to get you to shut up with your disturbing hyooman body noises."

Dib screamed in agony as hot pizza burned his face. He turned to the side to let it fall onto his bed and stared at it mournfully. "How am I supposed to eat it without my hands?"

Zim had already returned to the computer and was poking at the keyboard with a vengeance. Dib sighed and started the messy process of trying to eat pizza off a bed with his hands tied behind his back. Within minutes his entire face was covered in grease and one lone pepperoni clung tenaciously to his right eyebrow.

Zim let out a frustrated grunt and slammed his fist onto Dib's desk. He continued to stare at the computer screen as he spoke. "What is the filthy exterior organ of male hyoomans?"

Dib nearly snorted cheese up his nose. "What!?" Zim glowered at the computer screen, still refusing to look at Dib.

"You heard me, dirt monkey."

Dib slithered around on the bed until he could sit up, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. Why would Zim want to know something like that? Would it hurt to tell him? He decided to play along for the moment.

Once he decided to respond, however, he realized how difficult it was to answer. "Um. Well. Its..." He trailed off, looking a little hopeless.

"TELL ZIM! TELL ZIM NOW!"

"I'VE GOT A SPORK RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!!" Zim glanced towards the closed door where Gaz's voice had come. He got up and locked the bedroom door before turning to Dib.

Dib looked away and spoke quickly, "Its a penis." He felt the blush creeping up his grease stained cheeks despite his best efforts to keep it at bay.

Zim squinted his enormous crimson eyes at Dib's strange reaction. "You are turning more pig-like by the second, even your hideous pale skin is turning pink."

Dib cast him a withering glare, which was accepted as par, and bit out, "Why would you want to know, anyway?"

At this Zim finally hesitated. He leaned against the locked door and Dim realized just how tall he had gotten. If his estimate was anything to go by Zim had already reached his own height. "The base rejected me because I am no longer recognized by its DNA scanners."

Dibs eyes widened with comprehension. "You didn't!"

Zim merely stared at his nemesis, he was completely still but for the twitching of his left antennae. To his surprise, Dib burst out laughing.

"You used HUMAN DNA to get TALLER!? That's ridiculous! I thought humans were nothing but stinky meat sacks to you!" He continued to laugh uproariously, the pepperoni wobbled dangerously on its perch. Zim flatted his antennae to his head with annoyance.

"SHUT UP! Zim did what was necessary to fit in with the filthy hyooman stink-beasts. The transfer was not a full one. The changes are already completed." He grinned his characteristic grin and continued. "Zim keeps his RUGGEDLY HANDSOM LOOKS and gains a little HEIGHT all in one fell swoop."

Dib was still snorting a bit with laughter and wasn't thinking when he added, "You're voice is lower, too."

Zim stalked over to where Dib sat, confined by his own handcuffs. "You will tell Zim what to expect from these... changessss." He hisses the last word threateningly.

Dib fidgeted, "Well, its probably like going through puberty... only I don't know if you grow hair, so you might not have to worry about that." Zim's lip twitched and he continued to stare at Dib, who grew progressively pinker. "You'll probably be attracted to girls, voice lowers, um... there's not a whole lot else."

"Attracted to... females?" Zim finally looked away to ponder this new knowledge. He sat back down at Dib's desk and stared at his completed plans on the screen. "The Dib-thing is not attracted to females."

Dib was grateful the alien missed his cringe. "Of course I'm attracted to girls..." the lie was a feeble one and his face grew redder still.

Zim laughed cruelly as he extracted the plans from Dib's computer and stored them in his pak for later use. "I'm sure you are, earth-monkey." With one graceful movement he used the metallic spider appendages to slip out the window into the dark night, leaving Dib tied up and alone with his own thoughts.

---

So... Zim's a jerk, no lies.


	3. Chapter 3

Did you know? I still don't own anyone. Shocker.

---

It had taken him the rest of the weekend to do it but Dib finally made it out of the handcuffs. He was just about to see if Zim had deactivated his spy cam when he noticed the file left carelessly open on the screen. His less-than-sane cackle was cut off by the sound of an alarm, which was informing him that school started in a mere hour.

Glowering at the alarm Dib muttered grumpily as he prepared for school. Sneaking into Zim's base with the invaders own method was going to have to wait until next weekend.

School turned out to be an extremely awkward affair. Dib, as usual, tried to make a point to keep an eye on the invading alien. However, he was continually unnerved to find Zim staring right back at him every time he looked over. He started to twitch and fidget, trying to fight down the burning in his cheeks every time he turned around

In a final act of desperation Dib scribbled "KNOCK IT OFF" and chucked it at Zim's head. The alien caught it with one hand and, without blinking, popped it into his mouth to chew on thoughtfully.

Dib attempted to stare straight ahead of himself for the rest of the week.

---

Friday night at last. Dib prepared himself for the infiltration of Zim's base. Finally he would be able to get the photos he needed to prove the alien existed and then people would admit he was right and he would get the recognition he deserved and... Well, whatever. He looped the camera's cord around his neck, checked his ninja gear in the mirror with perhaps more care than he would have in the past, and headed out.

"See ya later, Gaz! I'm off to prove to the world that aliens exist!"

"Don't come back!"

Dib strolled through the front door of Zim's base, everything having gone without a hitch. He closed the door and glanced around the bizarre living room.

"Hey Gir."

"Hi big headed boooooy!" Gir let his head fall to the side as he extended the word. "This is my favorite show."

"Uh huh, say, where's your master, Gir?"

"I dunno."

"He's here, though?"

"I dunno."

"Did you see him walk past within the last... um... half hour or so?"

"I dunno."

Dib heaved a sigh and reprimanded himself for hoping for anything more. "Never mind, Gir."

"This is my favorite shooooooooooow."

Dib rolled his eyes and stepped into the garbage can in the kitchen, lowering himself into the bowels of Zim's base.

He giggled delightedly and started snapping pictures immediately. It was like the entire base was deserted. Dib spent quite some time attempting to access some stubborn data files marked "EARTH'S DOOM" and was a little surprised to hear his name being called.

It wasn't as loud as he would have expected, but none the less Dib jumped nearly a mile and ran for it. It was one of the things he did best, after all. He knocked into a few things and made quite a racket, however, and before long he was being flung into the wall and held there by sharp metal spider legs. He blinked dizzily, and thought he must have hit his head. Zim's face loomed into view but was quickly swallowed by darkness.

When Dib awoke he found himself strapped spread eagle on an examination table. He tried to look around as best he could and eventually caught sight of movement in the corner. With a sharp intake of breath Dib opened his mouth to begin demanding answers when Zim stepped forward.

Anything he was about to say died a shocked squeak. The invader was completely nude and had definitely acquired a new human feature. Though he was still green as ever, with enormous crimson eyes and expressive antennae he was, without a shadow of a doubt, male. Something which was made blatantly clear by his obvious erection.

"Dib-sssstink," the invader adressed him, "You will help me with this problem."

"What problem!?" Dibs voice cracked. He closed his eyes an refused to open them.

"This... 'penis' demands too much attention! How is the ALMIGHTY ZIM supposed to conquer you're pitiful dirt ball when his mind keeps wondering to his bodies ridiculous demands!?"

"Normal people just jack off..." Dib muttered and made a valiant attempt to count the veins in his eyelids. He could hear Zim moving to the front of the table and prayed the invader wouldn't notice his own bodies demands.

"You will help Zim." Dib jerked away from the voice so surprisingly close to his ear. His eyes opened despite himself, and he regretted it instantly. Zim was leaning over the side of the table, his face uncomfortably close to Dib's.

"What the hell makes you think I'd help you?!"

"You want to help Zim... Zim can smell it on you..." Dib felt the tip of a surprisingly soft antennae brush against his forehead and swallowed audibly.

"I... I can't. My hands are tied..." Zim chuckled softly and crawled onto the table. He straddled the trembling human between his knees he leaned forward to fiddle with a few switches. The position caused his erection to brush across Dib's chest. Dib made an odd gurgling sound Zim was quite sure he had never heard a human make before.

With a loud snap the restraints were released from Dib's hands, though they remained balled into fists to each side of him. Zim settled himself on top of Dib's chest and pushed his hips into him.

"Dib. You will help Zim." The alien held the humans head in clawed hands, raking them through his hair. Dib could no longer suppress a moan of pleasure and his hands finally began to stroke the disturbingly tantalizing green flesh looming over him.

Zim moaned his pleasure and pushed more firmly into Dib's hands. It wasn't all that long before he reached his climax. Afterwards he yawned hugely and, before Dib realized what was happening, pushed both of the humans hand's back into their former position and reactivated the restraints.

Feeling rather content, the alien then cuddled up to his restrained nemesis and pretended to fall asleep before Dib could even sputter his indignation.

Zim had been laying still for several minutes before Dib decided his raging erection wasn't going to go away on its own. Lucky for him, the sadistic alien had rolled over and revealed a bit of his neck. Dib bit down on it as hard as he could and Zim could no longer keep up his ruse.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Zim cried, clutching the bite wound.

"You will NOT leave me hanging!" Dib burst out, his embarrassment burnt up by anger. Zim smirked smugly.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to... um. I DON'T KNOW, but I WILL."

Zim hissed his amusement and trailed a sharp claw down Dib's neck. "What does the Dib want Zim to do?" His voice was soft and hinted that Dib be very careful in what he asked for.

"A... a kiss?" His embarrassment returned ten fold and Dib turned bright red. Zim continued to trail his claw downwards and it took a second for Dib to realize he was actually cutting the fabric as he left nothing but a delicate red line down his chest. He couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through his entire body.

"What is a kiss?" Dib blinked in surprise and frowned.

"Um. Its... when you press your mouth against another persons..." It didn't sound nearly as nice when he explained it. His cheeks continued to burn.

Zim pushed himself up a bit so that his head hung just above Dib's. He pushed his mouth against the humans with all of the delicacy and skill of a sledgehammer. Dib couldn't bite back a moan of approval when the alien's strange long tongue entered his mouth to play with his own.

Zim pulled back, breathing a little harder himself. "Like that?"

Dib could only nod. "And..."

"You want MORE? Needy little human-beast." Irken claws dug into the humans side.

Dib's anger flared once more and he strained to glare daggers at the uppity green alien "You could at least do what I did!"

Zim's electrifying grin warned Dib that he had known what was wanted all along.

Dib remained strapped to the table for the rest of the night, but he really didn't mind at all.

---

The next morning Dib awoke on the examination table, shivering and naked but no longer restrained. After a quick search through the room he discovered his clothing relatively intact and his camera utterly destroyed. Making a small sound of annoyance he found his way back up to the kitchen where he was more than a little surprised to see Zim calmly eating his way through a plate of waffles.

"You're just letting me go?"

"Yes." Zim said, shoveling a fork full of waffle into his face as Gir bustled around the kitchen, happily making more.

"But... why?!"

"Zim has decided to give the Dib-thing a head start. You have exactly twelve hours to prepare before you will be hunted down and taken again."

Dib stepped out of the kitchen backwards, his face flushing. He bolted for the front door, already concocting a plan to reverse the role of hunter for their next encounter.

---

Haha, oh god this story is embarrassing. I shouldn't be allowed to write porny things.


	4. Chapter 4

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Epilogue

Dib yawned contentedly as he lay stretched over his captive. Zim was stuck beneath him with his arms strapped above his head. Dib had made the adjustment on the lab table when he realized he had no intentions of dissecting his companion, no matter how annoying he got. He couldn't help but grin at his own victory of the evening. He liked to remind Zim every once and a while that they were equals, after all.

Dib had foiled a few plots for world domination in the last year, but they both knew it was for show. The Tallest had not responded to Zim in quite some time, which was probably for the best with the alien's height advantage threatening to compromise their rule. Zim was still convinced he was the rightful ruler of the dirt ball Earth and was now biding his time to talk Dib into helping him out, rather than foiling him. Maybe if he promised not to kill too many of them... his human had the strangest soft spot for his moronic brethren.

Dib had a pretty shrewd idea what Zim was up to, but he would never admit it out loud. He was beginning to wonder why Zim was so complacent to staying on Earth, now that he didn't seem to care about impressing the Tallest anymore. He dreamed of exploring the universe and wondered how long it would take him to convince Zim to let him hitch a ride.

Both of their revelries were interrupted by the hiss of the basement door opening. Dib tensed up, as if to bolt, but realized there was nowhere to run.

One pair of amber eyes and one pair of crimson followed Gaz as she stormed past them, eyes glued to her hand held game. She opened up a few drawers until she found the right one and after digging through it for a second she pulled out some fresh batteries. With the skill of a master she switched the batteries in her games system without even turning it off and clomped her way back up to the doorway at the top of the stairs.

"You guys are disgusting." Gaz poked at a few buttons on the console next to the door and stepped through it. The basement walls rattled with the clang of the reinforced doors sliding into place. There was a much fainter click, and all of the lights went out at once.

Dib and Zim remained frozen, staring at the door they could no longer see. Finally, Zim broke the silence.

"WHY do you keep batteries in the lab, anyway?"

With a groan Dib got up off the table. There was a bit of a shuffle and the restraints around Zim's wrists and ankles snapped back, releasing him.

"Help me find the flashlight, Zim. I think she locked us in."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Well, that's it.

Figured I'd post the last section and this at the same time.


End file.
